Chapter 2: Family Baggage

17 Sep

September 24, 2011

My fifteenth Birthday Wish

         Dear diary,


“Well today I turn fifteen
and like always I have to spend it at school. I just hope I can make it though
the day without being bothered by anyone; I really don’t feel like hearing any
of their mouths today. That truly would be the perfect birthday gift.”

 

    After I got ready I had already
decided to skip eating breakfast, this would only give my Mother, who I always
called by her name, Samantha, a chance to talk to me, and she was number one on
my list of people to avoid today.

    I
tried making my way out of the house unnoticed, but it didn’t work. My Mother
came stumbling out of the living room, pausing in the doorway between there and
the kitchen, wearing the same old pink and blue pajamas she’s worn for the last
several days. Seven thirty in the morning and her breath already smells like
alcohol.

    She called me over to her, arms out as if
she was waiting for an embrace, as I tried to get past without a confrontation,
but she wouldn’t have it. She grabbed my arm as I tried to move her out of my
way gently.

          “Where you going? What, you can’t even tell me good morning before you run off with that
little thief friend of yours.”

          “I’m on my way to school Samantha; I don’t
have time for this today, Faith never took your necklace. I asked her, please

just let me go.”

          I
was trying to pull myself free but she wouldn’t release her grip. My head
started to ring; it started to ring like it did in my dream so many weeks ago.
My vision changed it became fixated on her, the pain so bad It felt like I had
to hold my breath just to contain it.

          “Don’t touch me anymore,” I shot from
the very pit of my soul. Without even touching her she was tossed from the
doorway, across the living room, hitting the wall on the other side. I stood
there motionless, trying to take in what had just happened, the pain in my head
gone.

          The
house was a mess, newspapers and debris scattered throughout, Samantha unconscious
on the floor. I ran through to the front door as fast as I could, and without
even checking on Samantha… I ran out it.

          Living
on the out skirts of town my bus stop was home to only one other student that
went to Pleasant Plains  High, James
McCormick. I knew if I just kept running till I reached there I wouldn’t be
bothered, James never spoke two words to me, I’m not pretty enough. Or so I’ve
heard him tell other people, not that he’s had a problem telling me himself.

          As I was running I wasn’t thinking about how the house suddenly appeared to have been hit by a tornado, or how Samantha flew through the air slamming into a wall. The easiest thing for me to do was put the blame on her; it was her fault. If she just wouldn’t drink. How much better our lives could be if she’d just stay sober.

          You
see my Mother has a drinking problem and not a little one either. I can
remember back to when I was a little girl and my Mother and Stepfather would
fight over her addictions. With his help she did pretty well for awhile.

          About
two years ago she started back drinking, she tried to hide it from us at first,
but my Stepfather knew what was going on. She’d leave saying she was going to a
friends, or out to do something. We wouldn’t see her for several hours, and
when she’d finally show back up at home she would always shower, and then go
right to bed, saying she wasn’t feeling good.

          At
first my stepfather, whose name was William, thought Samantha was not only
drinking again but cheating on him as well. Their fights would last for hours
over this; broken glass and thrown furniture would litter the floor waiting for
me to pick up after they were done.

          Their
fighting has always made it hard for me to have friends over, ever. I mean I
have never had many anyways, but if I did, I would be ashamed for them to come
over to my house. Samantha’s drinking has always caused us to never really
become a family, in any normal since of the word.

          A
year and half ago her drinking intensified, she’d stay gone for days at a time,
coming back with excuses like there wasn’t a phone she could use to call home
at her friend’s house, or she tried to get home but couldn’t. The only forty
two year old woman I ever knew without a driver’s license.

          William
became irate at her continued mental abuse. He knew she was cheating on him and
he was going to find out one way or another, and then one night he decided to
go find her, which would end up being his demise.

          He
left the house about two hours after she did. He never said a word, not even
good-bye, he just left. I was watching him out of my bedroom window that night,
wiping the tears from his eyes as he unlocked the car doors. I could hear him
talking to himself, asking God why she was to be doing this to him.

          The
funny thing is at the time I didn’t feel bad for him, I was hiding my own
secrets about him as well. After he left it would be almost six hours until I
would learn of the horrible events that took place, after that sad man left our
driveway.

          According
to the police reports, and two other eye witnesses that were nearby at the
time, William found her drunk and staggering across the railroad trestle that
sat atop the river that split our little town in two. The tracks were a faster
way home, but it was very old and if its wooden walkways weren’t meant to be
walked on during the day, you’d have to be out of your mind to walk on them at
night, especially drunk.

          That’s
my Mother though, never thinking only doing what makes her happy, everybody else’s
emotions just never mattered. There were two boys Jake Kolins and Joel Sims,
and both boys lived in town. They told the police they were just down by the
river doing some night fishing when they heard screaming.

          They
said the fighting continued for several minutes, in the moon light they could
see a lady walking all over the tracks, there was some guy trying to get her to
come back. In her drunken state she stumbled to close to the edge, falling. She
didn’t fall off the tracks, but as soon as she started to fall William ran.

          He
made it to her just in time to see her land, hitting her head on the wooden
platform, the trestle only supposed to be used by the railroad that’s still to
this day not equipped with guard rails. As William ran for my Mother he stopped,
causing him to stumble, tripping over her body and going over the edge to the
darkened waters below.

          Instead
of calling for help Jake and Joel got scared took off and headed home. They
never would have been a part of it, but those two aren’t known around here for
their smarts. They left their fishing supplies there on the scene, clearly
marked with their names.

          As
William lay in the cold waters dead, my Mother laid atop the wooden path passed
out. It wasn’t until the next train past by and had to stop to switch tracks that
she was discovered, once found it wasn’t long for the rest of the story to
unfold.

          I
received the news of William’s death before Samantha did; I was the one who had
to break it to her. After years of abuse by her, whether it was mentally or physically,
I gave her the news showing her no compassion, making sure I blamed her for his
death. I don’t know if it was how I gave her the news, or if it was his death
itself, but her downward spiral became full bloom afterwards.

All these thoughts of the past vanished as the rickety pieces
of wood that made up my crude, make shift, bus stop that was built by some
former students came into view. I couldn’t see James anywhere, “wonderful” I thought to myself; “I do get to be alone.”

          The
bus stop stood atop a small hill, most of the roads around here seemed to
either be on a hill, a curve, and always by a field. During the summer this
place really can seem magical, bright, colorful flowers, cottonweed blowing lazily
all around you, even the bees actually appear to be friendlier here than in
other towns. I have to admit I’ve had many wonderful mornings waiting to go to
school from here just watching the nature around me.

          Winter
on the other hand would be miserable, waiting on the bus here, but a few years
ago some older kids got fed up with always being so cold waiting for a bus that
might not even show up, that they got together and built a nice little shack-like
box, that even sat around three benches made from old van seats. Around here
winter can get so bad with so many open fields, that I can remember having to
have our food brought to us by people on horses because there was just no other
way to get through.

          As
I took the last few steps to the makeshift seats, I took a long drawn in breath
exousted already from the day’s events. I lay back closing my eyes anticipating
another headache, when I was swiftly cast into another dream, deeply sinking
away. Feeling myself no longer sitting on some old messy seats, but standing…
standing in a cloud?

          The
brightly lit white fog swirled and swayed around me. At first I was afraid to
move. Would I fall, and if I did what would happen to me? I paused for several
moments trying to make anything out, feeling this pressure against my chest, as
the haze thickened. At times it seemed to suck the air from my lungs. I knew I
didn’t have long and staying put probably wasn’t the best choice.

          I
almost had to move my own leg with my hand to get it going, but a mysterious
scream for help in a direction that didn’t seem to far from me. Was all the
help my body needed to get up and go, and that’s just what I did, as fast as I
could, never even caring what would happen after that first step. My foot
pressed against the ground, the mist washed away from underneath it,

          “Safe!” I said looking down then raising
my head, I rushed to whoever it was still yelling in agony, the whole time
never being able to see where I was going. I could only find the way by that
voice, and I knew I was getting closer by how much louder it became.

          After
what seemed like an eternity, a figure started to appear through the now
impossible thick cloud. I no longer had to run, I was being pushed by the haze,
or at least it felt that way. At first all I could make out was an oval shaped silhouette,
shining immensely as If it was racing towards me faster than I was to it.

          The
unnatural waves of white twisted and turned until it opened up enough space for
the object to finally make itself known. To my surprise there wasn’t anything to
worry about at all, turns out it was just…well it was just a mirror.

          Almost
immediately my attention was drawn to a figure inside of the mirror, it had
about the same shape as I had, and even appeared to be wearing the same outfit
that I could remember myself wearing in the dream with my brothers, except for
theirs was black, and not white like mine.

          This
person was facing right with their head cocked. It was impossible to see who it
was. I tried making out a face even moving closer to the mirror, and when I
only had a few steps left I started calling out to this person.

          “Hello!
Hey, were you the one screaming for help?”

          “I could’ve guessed, no reply” I said to
myself, so I yelled again this time pausing my steps in hopes that this would help
my hearing become clearer.

          Before
the sounds of anything resembling a word could leave my lips, the mirror
started shaking just slightly; the person inside taking the place where my
reflection should be, started taking small steps backwards.

          I
almost turned and ran but then I was told to; I could hear that voice again,
this time all around me, as if it was being blown through the wind on a
beautiful summer day.

          “Run-you have to get away from here-just
run!”

          I
answered back the only thing I really could think of at the time.

          “Where, where should I go, I don’t-”

          As
if angered by my slow mumbled response the unknown person’s head began to turn
my way, and in my own voice she let out one last scream for me to run. Shocked
into place with a full view of who I now know to be me. I just stood there
staring at myself, almost reaching out to see if there was anything there to be
touched.

          My
amazement was shattered by the look of fear that over took my doplaganer. The
pace of her backwards steps quickened, her voice sank low as if it was barely
reaching my awaiting ears.

          “What can I do? Please I don’t know what’s
going on… you have to tell me!”

          I
waited for a reply but it never came. Scared to death and completely believing
that I was losing my mind, I almost turned around right there and made a run
for it, but as that thought even entered my brain her screams for me to run now
seemed to have turned into screams of pain and agony once again.

          “This was the voice I heard, I knew it,”
raced through my head.

          “What’s wrong? Can I help you? Please just
tell me what to do!”

          I
yelled and still she wouldn’t take her eyes off of whatever the hell was after
her inside there. She just stared forward her arms raised backing up screaming
for help. She finally stumbled, losing her footing falling to her knees, this
caused the hood covering her head to finally fall off, completely reviling to
me an exact double to myself.

          As
she sat there, hood removed still looking forward and still pleading for some
kind of miracle, all her skin that I could see that wasn’t covered by the black
cloak she had on began to crawl white.

          Her
hands and face instantly became a pasty looking white, this must have caused
her unimaginable pain, for her screams were no longer screams, but more like
all of the pain of death being released through her voice at once.

          Now
staring right at me, it was easy for me to tell it was me but then again, it
wasn’t me. I mean how could I ever look like that, and what the hell am I doing
inside a mirror?

          “RUN NOW!”

          This
time she did yell louder than I have ever heard anyone yell in my life. It
caused me to almost stumble myself. I did turn to run as she said, but I still
didn’t know where the hell I was. With the brightly lit swirls of white still racing
around me seeing anything in front of my face was made almost impossible, all I
had left was to make one last plea on what to do.

          “Ok I will, but you have to tell me where?
Just tell me and I’ll go!”

          “You have to go! Go now! He’s here! You must
run!”

          I
knew my next actions wouldn’t please her, but I really was lost on what to do
and I thought my heart was going to explode from fear.

          I
ran up to the mirror, finally griping its sides with my hands, but before my fingertips
could even brush the back of this cursed piece of glass I was thrown back landing
hard hitting the back of my head.

          Screams
for me to get up and run followed, but when those screams turned to screams of…
Run he’s there with you, it didn’t take long for me to recover and get back to
my feet.

          The
gripping cold that had now over taken my very soul had made it impossible for
me to move, all I could do was stand there fixated at what was falling into my
eyes. White racing so fast all my thoughts seemed erased, even if I wanted to
get away I couldn’t remember how to.

          If
she only knew how pitiful I was. She may look like me, but if she knew anything
about me she’d know I’m too spineless to run. She just stared into my eyes begging
softly for me to run, tears starting to stream down her powdery white cheeks.

          She
reached out, her palm coming to a rest on the inside of the mirror, her handprint
clearly on the other side of the glass. I reached out as far as I could, to terrified
to budge, no matter how much she pleaded with me.

          Before
I could muster up the strength inside to move, the tears that were so
gracefully falling from her eyes turned red.
Instead of soft wet lines running down her face, now it appeared as if
her skin was cracking and splitting right before me. Bright red gashes began to
run up her arms from her hands, blood dripping onto the ground below her.

          There
was so much blood at once; it started running to my feet from underneath the
mirror. I finally moved, stepping back just enough to make sure the blood
didn’t reach the tips of my shoes. I started yelling… yelling at whomever the
hell it was that was hurting her.

“Stop! Please whatever it is your doing
to her, please just stop!” What do you want from her?”

          By
now I was literally pulling on my own hair, screaming in rage as my reflection
continued to crack and bleed in front of me. No matter how much pain she had to
be in I could still hear her in my head telling me to run.

          Black
streams began to overtake the swirling white that kept me trapped there so far.
They twisted and tangled together forming several arms of shadow, each with
only four fingers placed atop. As fast as they formed they turned towards me,
their pace quickening with every passing second.

          The
closest one reached me, placed its black cold fingers around my throat. I never
lost my breath, that’s not what it was trying to do to me. No, it was something
else it was after, as if it was feeding on my soul, drinking my life from the
inside out.

          I
never felt pain; I felt content, almost disappointed that I was released just
moments later. My refection made it to her feet at that same moment, her body
completely dripping red; I could only see her from the corner of my eye as she
shattered the mirror, causing the shadow to release its grip, dropping me from
several feet in the air to the ground.

          Once
again I could hear my twin not by her screams, but once more in my head telling
me.

          “Now
go! You don’t have much time! Please you have to find a way out, you’re not
strong enough…Without your memories you’ll die. GO-NOW!”


“How do you know about my
memories? How do you know I can’t remember?”
I asked back, but with no time to wait on a reply, I
found my eyes scanning the area for a place to run, just the same way they had
several weeks before, when I nearly escaped being eating to death by Tree-mites.

          The
once tranquil haze of white was now littered with an uncountable number of
black shadows. They wisped by me at unbelievable speeds, making a horrible
screeching sound that seemed to go all the way to my brain as they past causing
my head to fall further into agonizing pain.
Out of the long strains of black arms continued to reach for me, coming
close enough that it looked like their long thick nails would slice into my
skin.

          It
only took moments for the darkness to overwhelm the peaceful Light. Everywhere
I looked was now black, the only white left was above my head, as if it was
there to tease me, being so close but something I could never reach.

          As
my last thread of hope was about to fade, a massive screech came from above, so
loud it caused me to lose my footing. Falling backwards I was able to catch
myself with my hands before I did any serious damage. My head was now throbbing
in pain from the sound. “Are these things what’s been causing my head to hurt
the way it has been?” Raced through my mind right before the last bit of light
was shattered, as the darkness broke through casting another dark shadowy arm
above me.

          Reaching
for me, and with no other options, I lifted my back off the ground and scurried
away as fast as I could, like some kind of insect would to avoid being dinner.
No matter how fast I moved the darkness closed in all-around me. The arms hand’s
opened wide, its mangled mess of black twisting its way up my leg.

          I
was able to make it out much clearer now; it seemed to be long strands of black
smoke, wrapped around one another like tree roots. At the end of the hand where
the pinky should be was a long wooden looking stick with a faint glow of purple
at the tip. It looked just as twisted as the hand it was attached too; I didn’t
know what worried me more, this, or the hand itself.

          I
could feel an overwhelming sense of fright flow through me; this now black haze
seemed to suck the life from my very soul, leaving what I thought would be some
empty shell on the ground.

          Not
being able to take anymore, my defense became their offence. I screamed, a
scream so loud I didn’t even believe that it came from my mouth. The darkness
shot back into the air, screaming almost as loud as me. Light started to
return, just as fast as it had sank into an eternal abyss, it shined through, warming
my body, the coldness fading, and my happiness returning.

          With
what must have been the last bit of its strength, the blackened arm sprang
forward giving off one last attempt for what surely was my life. With nothing
left in me I just shut my eyes, never to open them again, I’ll just let it
happen, if it was going to happen.

          I
could feel the twisted mess wrap itself around my face; with one last dreadful
scream a radiant light met the front of my eyelids, giving hints of the
receding darkness. I opened my eyes not even realizing I was still screaming,
and trying to get away from this haunting nightmare, when two massive hands
placed their sweaty grip onto each of my shoulders. They thrashed me back and
forth so hard I thought I was going to pass out.

          “Destiny!
You alright- wake up girl, for Heaven sakes!”

          These
cries placed themselves snuggly in my ears, and I jumped with excitement and
certainly surprise.

          It
wasn’t until this time that I realized there wasn’t any black haze of death, no
room with swirling white, and there certainly wasn’t a mirror with a girl
ravaged in pain that looks just like me. No, the arms that caused me to go into
such a panic were that of my bus driver… Mr. Olsen who just woke me up from
another dream.


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4 Responses to “Chapter 2: Family Baggage”

  1. Alle Wells September 20, 2011 at 1:22 pm #

    A great beginning…I want more Destiny!

    Alle Wells

    • jeremyemling September 20, 2011 at 7:49 pm #

      Thank you… The first 2 chapters i have on here are 1st drafts i thought it would be fun for people to read with some missed spelled words lol I just got the first half of the Novel back from my editor! So for the 3rd chapter that will post very soon it will be as it will appear in the Novel. If you have enjoyed the beginning of TDOD be sure to read (Finding of the first Diary) which can be found right here on the TDOD blog! Thanks again for stopping by and i hope you vist again very soon…Jeremy Emling

      • ben September 22, 2011 at 4:57 pm #

        great word paintings… I was breathless as I experienced these scenes with her. Well done.

  2. jeremyemling September 22, 2011 at 11:43 pm #

    Thanks Ben! Very kind comments! I hope to see you back again to enjoy even more…Jeremy Emling

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